Thursday, July 31, 2014
Friday, January 28, 2011
Another Fresh Start, exactly one year ago from my first post
I cannot believe it has been one year since I began this blog, as you can see I did not follow up very well with posting and even less with the weight loss, in fact I gained. But today is a new day, a new year from when I began and I am on a different page in my life. Some major changes have happened. I lost my mother, my best friend, my cheerleader. She died May 8th, day before Mother's Day, and I miss her terribly. She was an amazing women who took anything life handed her and made lemonade. She was amazing, if I can be half as good as her, I will be proud. So with both parents having major health issues that related to their death, it was time for me to concentrate on myself, and making me the best I can be.
Six months ago I began the process of preparing for Gastric Bypass Surgery. My insurance requires a 6 month nutrition program to be followed. Now that I have completed every requirement of that program, I should be receiving my notification of it being approved any day and my surgery should be some time in February. January 24th, 2011, I began the required liquid diet, normally it's 2 weeks prior to surgery but my doctor wants me to lose 20 pounds so I will be at or under 50 BMI. Here's the scary part, the numbers....I, at 5'9" (the doctor says I'm 5'8" I refuse to believe I shrunk an inch), I weigh 345 pounds. My ideal BMI weight should be 165, or 150 for truly ideal weight. I'm over twice the person I should be.
Today I've started day 5 of the liquid diet, lost 11.5 pounds so far, but have come to realize this is much deeper then overeating. First 3 days, no problem, the shakes taste good, 3 a day I have banana and chocolate to choose from or mix them, then 1 low fat frozen meal for supper under 320 calories and at least 15grams of protein. I can have 1 1/2 cups of raw vegetables, sugar free Jell-O (sorry I have always hated Jell-O, getting to like it now...), and 64oz of water or beverage a day. Honestly I have not felt that hungry, only a few times about half hour before I eat. Learning to live with being satisfied, never stuffed, that's good. I remember one day the week before feeling bloated from eating too much junk food thinking, how good it will feel to not feel that way again. It's surprising how good my supper meals have been. I've been eating them slower, practicing applesauce consistency that is what I will have to chew my food to for the first few weeks after the surgery.
Day 4 hit and I lost it...All of the sudden I was feeling hungry, something didn't agree with me and I had what colon experience, let's just call it that. I laid in bed and cried at one point. I felt so deprived, it was Thursday night, or pizza night, I wanted that, and my favorite corn dip with Fritos, and chips, and chocolate, and donuts. I didn't feel it was fair I was going to have to give this all up, why me. And I remember parts of a book I had started reading and put down, God Women and Food; I remember one section saying that we often eat to cover up the feelings when we are feeling bad, we need to get use to feeling those feelings. So I thought what does it mean to eat those foods. I remembered family reunions, holidays, laughter, parties, being with friends, summers, camping, all my favorite memories food was there. I was trying to bring back those memories, those feelings by eating food and for awhile I feel better, but then I feel guilty and fat and ugly and bad, very bad. So I cried, and slowly the hunger pains went away, I got up, wiped off the tears, and it was time for my next meal. I will do more exploring on that topic in the future.
Six months ago I began the process of preparing for Gastric Bypass Surgery. My insurance requires a 6 month nutrition program to be followed. Now that I have completed every requirement of that program, I should be receiving my notification of it being approved any day and my surgery should be some time in February. January 24th, 2011, I began the required liquid diet, normally it's 2 weeks prior to surgery but my doctor wants me to lose 20 pounds so I will be at or under 50 BMI. Here's the scary part, the numbers....I, at 5'9" (the doctor says I'm 5'8" I refuse to believe I shrunk an inch), I weigh 345 pounds. My ideal BMI weight should be 165, or 150 for truly ideal weight. I'm over twice the person I should be.
Today I've started day 5 of the liquid diet, lost 11.5 pounds so far, but have come to realize this is much deeper then overeating. First 3 days, no problem, the shakes taste good, 3 a day I have banana and chocolate to choose from or mix them, then 1 low fat frozen meal for supper under 320 calories and at least 15grams of protein. I can have 1 1/2 cups of raw vegetables, sugar free Jell-O (sorry I have always hated Jell-O, getting to like it now...), and 64oz of water or beverage a day. Honestly I have not felt that hungry, only a few times about half hour before I eat. Learning to live with being satisfied, never stuffed, that's good. I remember one day the week before feeling bloated from eating too much junk food thinking, how good it will feel to not feel that way again. It's surprising how good my supper meals have been. I've been eating them slower, practicing applesauce consistency that is what I will have to chew my food to for the first few weeks after the surgery.
Day 4 hit and I lost it...All of the sudden I was feeling hungry, something didn't agree with me and I had what colon experience, let's just call it that. I laid in bed and cried at one point. I felt so deprived, it was Thursday night, or pizza night, I wanted that, and my favorite corn dip with Fritos, and chips, and chocolate, and donuts. I didn't feel it was fair I was going to have to give this all up, why me. And I remember parts of a book I had started reading and put down, God Women and Food; I remember one section saying that we often eat to cover up the feelings when we are feeling bad, we need to get use to feeling those feelings. So I thought what does it mean to eat those foods. I remembered family reunions, holidays, laughter, parties, being with friends, summers, camping, all my favorite memories food was there. I was trying to bring back those memories, those feelings by eating food and for awhile I feel better, but then I feel guilty and fat and ugly and bad, very bad. So I cried, and slowly the hunger pains went away, I got up, wiped off the tears, and it was time for my next meal. I will do more exploring on that topic in the future.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
April Showers
April has always been one of my favorite months. Especially because my birthday is the 18th, Spring is here, birds are singing, plants are growing, snow is melting...
This spring has been a true spring up here in the north and I am so thankful for that. I don't remember when we have had a more beautiful spring.
My life though is incredibly hectic and weightloss is non existent. In fact holding off the gain is the goal. My mom is moving from an assisted living apartment into full time nursing care. One of my brothers and his wife has helped out packing and my other sister and I and other family will help with the move. Financially I am paying all her bills and with that working, getting her moved, up-coming rummage sale, tax time it's all hitting at once. This year, April is a year of change and I'm hoping once the stress is done that I can give more focus to carring for myself.
I have started belly dancing classes and exercising for 30 minutes a day 5 days a week with a new competition at work. I have one of those big exercise balls that I also try to sit on at work for 30 minutes as well. Hoping the eating will fall into place once the stress diminishes and I stop stress eating. Until then cul8r!!!
This spring has been a true spring up here in the north and I am so thankful for that. I don't remember when we have had a more beautiful spring.
My life though is incredibly hectic and weightloss is non existent. In fact holding off the gain is the goal. My mom is moving from an assisted living apartment into full time nursing care. One of my brothers and his wife has helped out packing and my other sister and I and other family will help with the move. Financially I am paying all her bills and with that working, getting her moved, up-coming rummage sale, tax time it's all hitting at once. This year, April is a year of change and I'm hoping once the stress is done that I can give more focus to carring for myself.
I have started belly dancing classes and exercising for 30 minutes a day 5 days a week with a new competition at work. I have one of those big exercise balls that I also try to sit on at work for 30 minutes as well. Hoping the eating will fall into place once the stress diminishes and I stop stress eating. Until then cul8r!!!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
March 9th-- Another New Beginning
I started off with such a bang on my weight loss. So motivated. I had an awesome first week and felt I had made the change. Then I gave in to temptation and though I have continued to be down, official weigh in today is 315, I am feeling like such a failure. I nearly cried after my weigh in knowing, it's all in my hands and I can't do it. I want chocolate, I want salty, I want good food that's not good for you. Patience is not one of my virtues. I remember I found a note in my drawer that I left for myself..."Dear God give me patience NOW!" and that is how I feel. But I've connected with Sparkspeople.com, awesome site, check it out. My co-worker Amy got me out to walk today, so I've met my now 20 minutes a day goal. I've planned my food out for today and tracked it on Sparkspeople, best part of the site that I love. Now I have a plan and have made it fit within my goals. Got a great recipe for Salmon tonight and I don't feel like crying anymore. I have a massage Friday night and am thinking of getting a new hair do and a great pair of walking shoes. Yes hoping things are changing for the best again. CUL*8R
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Ground Hog Day
The Ground Hog saw his shadow and was scared and ran back down into his hole...Boy can I relate. I see my shadow and I'm scared too...Today our County Public Health that is located in the building I work in started their own Biggest Loser competition. 6 Weeks $5 winner take all. Looks like about 35 people will be participating and I am already counting my $175. Well not really but it would be nice. The scale was not kind though, it logged me in at 324. I suppose after breakfast and fully dressed that accounts for some of the weight.
My first day went pretty good had a few snags...went walking with my co-worker but apparently my shoes were wrong and am now limping on my left foot. So am not going to walk today other then what is necessary. I am having a tour of a local gym where I will get a free trial month. It's not conveniently located but it looks, on the virtual tour that is, that it has a lot to offer. I did overcome one major obstacle. We had a going away party at work and I ate nothing. There was really nothing that I could eat except a dish of Texas Caviar which everyone eats with chips. I would have just been able to spoon it and also it was a bit spicy for me so left it all alone. Unfortunately all the left-over’s are up front in our break room bars, cookies, chips, cake and it’s a co-workers birthday today, so that means more cake. But I will resist, I am avoiding the front, have my almonds, Clementine’s, and water back in my office. Brought a lunch of soup, tuna, and a V8 for today. Vegetables are always a hard one for me but I love V8, low sodium version. Eventually I want to get to the point of cooking my own soups in advance and making my own juice. Just need some time and good recipes. It seems so much of the processed food out there has a ton of sodium in it. Trying to find a can of soup without 400 grams of sodium was difficult, even the low sodium versions. But we are taking baby steps and that’s in the plan. Cul8r…Dina
My first day went pretty good had a few snags...went walking with my co-worker but apparently my shoes were wrong and am now limping on my left foot. So am not going to walk today other then what is necessary. I am having a tour of a local gym where I will get a free trial month. It's not conveniently located but it looks, on the virtual tour that is, that it has a lot to offer. I did overcome one major obstacle. We had a going away party at work and I ate nothing. There was really nothing that I could eat except a dish of Texas Caviar which everyone eats with chips. I would have just been able to spoon it and also it was a bit spicy for me so left it all alone. Unfortunately all the left-over’s are up front in our break room bars, cookies, chips, cake and it’s a co-workers birthday today, so that means more cake. But I will resist, I am avoiding the front, have my almonds, Clementine’s, and water back in my office. Brought a lunch of soup, tuna, and a V8 for today. Vegetables are always a hard one for me but I love V8, low sodium version. Eventually I want to get to the point of cooking my own soups in advance and making my own juice. Just need some time and good recipes. It seems so much of the processed food out there has a ton of sodium in it. Trying to find a can of soup without 400 grams of sodium was difficult, even the low sodium versions. But we are taking baby steps and that’s in the plan. Cul8r…Dina
Monday, February 1, 2010
Feb 1st the Beginning of the New Me
Today I start, and I'm excited yet nervous. I spent the last week acting like I was never gonna eat good foods again. I went to all my favorite restaurants and ordered my favorite foods. It was like I was a dead woman walking her last mile. I also ended up 2 pounds lighter for my start then I was when I sent in my entry for Valley's Biggest Loser contest. I cleaned out all the bad foods in my fridge and cupboards and threw away all the spoiled good foods I bought on my last attempt to begin dieting. Ooops I'm not trying to use that word, though that's what it is. I don't care what you call it but consciously forcing myself to change my eating habits is DIEting. I have signed up for some community walking and belly dancing classes plus a class on how to snow shoe. My co-worker Amy and I will begin walking on our breaks and then I plan to walk at home for 20 minutes after work. My husband starts his new job Tuesday pm so that will open up an opportunity to workout in the morning and being able to watch the news or listen to my music without having to wear earplugs so I don't wake him. That I will enjoy too. Bought myself a Britta water pitcher for work, hope to down one picture at work. I am also really trying to look at going organic and making some of my own foods. For today I made a salad and am using a really cool bowl that lets me keep it cool and it stores the add on's seperately from the spinach so it doesn't get so stale. I have my V8, I'm not a good vegetable eater and some clementines and almonds for snacks. Supper- now that will be hard. Hubby cooks supper so will just have to encourage him to cook healthier or I will have to cook my own. Tonight I bought some salmon so if he makes that with rice that should be a good meal. Portion control...that's gonna be hard. For today I'm optimistic, excited and happy that this will be the last time I will weigh....321 pounds at 5'9" my goal is to get to 175 as then, my BMI should be in the average range. 146', 1 pound at a time and I plan to be at that weight by next year...Feb 1st 2011. So there it is...it's out there for the world to see, even if no one else is reading my blog...yet....cul8r...Dina
Thursday, January 28, 2010
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